Ie ni Kaeru to Tsuma ga Kanarazu Shinda Furi wo Shiteimasu

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Kanji: 家に帰ると妻が必ず死んだふりをしています。
Romaji: Ie ni Kaeru to Tsuma ga Kanarazu Shinda Furi wo Shiteimasu
English: "When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends to be Dead"
Original Artist: Hobonichi-P
Source: Vocaloid (Hatsune Miku) song by Hobonichi-P
Original Video URL: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm11480547


Medleys that use this song

Lyrics

Romaji English
doa o aketara tsuma ga taoreteru As I open the door, I find my wife collapsed on the floor
senaka ni tsuki sasaru houchou with a kitchen knife stuck into her back
yuka wa chimamire with the floor completely covered in blood
shiranai hito ga mitara kizetsu suru kamo shirenai If a stranger saw this, he'd probably faint

boku ga ochi tsuite After I calm myself down, I laugh and say,
"kyou no wa souji ga taihen sou da" to warau to "Today's scene looks like a real pain to clean up."
tsuma wa utsubuse no mama manzoku souni My wife, still lying face-down and looking pleased with herself,
kukuku to waratteta was laughing mischievously

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shite imasu When I come home, my wife always pretends to be dead
asu wa donna shini kata o shite iru no ka What kind of death will she have tomorrow?
yosou sura dekinai I dare not even guess

aru hi wa atama ni ya ga sasatte tari One day she had an arrow pierced through her head
gunpuku de juuhou kakaete tari And another she had held a gun in a military uniform
manbou no kigurumi ga shindeta toki wa The one time I saw a sunfish mascot lying dead,
doa shime youka to omotta I had the urge to close the door and leave

atokatazuke mo kekkou taihen de The clean-up afterwards was always a huge pain,
yuka no chinori o arattari having to wash the fake blood off the floor
ya ga sasatta mama ban gohan tsukuru no wa Please, for the sake of everyone's sanity,
kanben shite hoshii don't cook dinner with that arrow still stuck in you

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shite imasu When I come home, my wife always pretends to be dead
chotto homeru to choushi ni noru kara The smallest of praise only encourages her more,
dekiru dake suruu de so I play it cool as much as possible

kekkon mae wa isogashikute mo Before we were married, no matter how busy I was,
kanojo ni au dake de tanoshikatta I was always happy just to see her
tetsuya de kuruma ate mo naku tobashite We'd take spontaneous midnight drives
umi mi ni ittari shita no ni and trips to the sea

kekkon chokugo hajimete buka o mochi But after the wedding, I was promoted, had my own employees-
shigoto ga totemo tanoshiku natta -and my work had become a lot of fun
ie de hitori de matsu tsuma no kimochi Not even once did I think about how my wife felt
kangaete inakatta staying home all alone waiting for me

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shiteru no wa When I come home, is the reason my wife pretends to be dead
ano koro no futari ni modoritai kara ka because she misses who we were back then?
boku ni wa wakaranai I don't know.

ie ni katta boku o matteru tsuma no engi miru koto ga If getting to see the theatrics of my wife, who waits for me to come home,
bokura futari no ai no katachi naraba is the way we share our love,
sore wa sore de ari darou then what's wrong with that?

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shite imasu When I come home, my wife always pretends to be dead
kyou wa donna shini kata o shite iru no ka What kind of death will she have today?
kitai shite akeru doa Excited, I open the door

Source