Kapanet Nitori

Kanji	カパネットにとり
Romaji	Kapanetto Nitori
English	"Kapanet Nitori"
Original Artist	ZUN, Conagusuri
Source	Touhou Project BGM (arranged by Conagusuri)
Original Video URL	http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/nm9033359 (short version with PV); http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm9244453 (full)

Medleys that use this song

• CMY
• Splash
• A la Carte
• Spirits
• Medley of Pow"d"er
• Non-Title Medley of Nico Nico IV
• Galaxy
• Momokata-boshi Ren Izumi ~ Medley Dream
• Minna Issho ni Tanoshiku Nico Nico Douga
• Nico Nico Vacation
• 30 Second Rush

Lyrics

"Nitori han ga shigoto de isogashii no wa wakarimasu e.	"I understand you're busy, Nitori.
Se ya kedo, sukoshi wa Hakurei Jinja no koto mo kangaete morawan to."	That's alright, but you haven't thought about the Hakurei shrine for even a wee little bit."
"Reimu ka, kore wo tsukuttetan ya."	"Reimu, I made this for ya!"
"Homma, uchi no o-saisen tsukai taoshite... Nitori han?"	"Really? Using every bit of my donations, Nitori?"
... U!	... Pfft!
Gahahaa! Yotte rasshai mite rasshai! (Kita no machi wo horobose~)	Gahahaha, welcome and browse! (Destroy the northern village)
Kyou mo tasha ni makenai bottakuri kakaku de, (Minami no machi wa umero~)	We're not losing to another company's rip off prices today! (Bury the southern village)
Itsumo niya-niya genkin barai (Higashi no machi wa moyase~)	We always smile, paying cash! (Burn down the eastern village)
Nitori no ULTRA Bottakuri Terebi Shoppingu! Hajimaru yoo! (Nishi no machi wa mizuzeme ni~)	Nitori's Ultimate Rip Off Television Shopping! It starts now! (Cut off the western village's water supply!)
Yukkuurii katte ttee ittee nee!	Come on in and take your time buying things!
SAGI☆DETH!	SAGI☆DETH!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Genka hyaku-bai ampan-men!	Anko Bun with noodles at 100 times its original cost!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Iruka no kopii-e hyaku-man-en!	A copy of a dolphin painting for one million yen!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Kara-bako okutte boro-mouke!	Sending you various run-down empty boxes!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
O-denwa taihen kondemasu	Telephone calls are coming in~
Saa saa, minasan, kore wo mite	Come, come, everyone, come and look at this.
Honjitsu shoukai shimasu no wa	Today I'll be introducing to you
Nan demo kan demo daitai supa-supa to kirechau	Something that usually cuts down anything quick -
Mahou no you na SLICER (Myooooon!?)	A magic-like slicer! (Myoon!?)
Goran ni natte, kono kire-aji	Look at its sharpness.
Kyuuri wo supa-supa too!	When it chops cucumbers like so!
Nn? Nan... da to... Kore wa kyuuri ja nai? OKRA daaaa!!	Huh? What did you say? This isn't cucumber! This is okra!
Nittori-tori ni narimashita (Yaan☆)	It becomes just like so! (Yaan☆)
Fukyou no nami wa watashi ni mo ayatsurenai kara-ra	The waves of recession won't control even me
Ran-ran-ruu-ruu yeeeeeei!	Ran ran ru ru YAAAAAAAAY!
(Onedan ijou)	(Above all prices)
Kappa no Tani kara anata e	From the Valley of Kappa
NICE na ITEM o-todoke (karabako dakedo ne)	We deliver to you a nice item! (It's an empty crate though)
Gensoukyo dake ja tarinai (Sekai seifuku)	Gensokyo by itself isn't enough! (World domination)
Motto tekatteka na egao wo (Watashi no egao ne)	We need more gleaming smiles! (Like mine)
Kappa no Tani kara anata e	From the Valley of Kappa
NICE na PRICE o-kaidoku (Genka sen-bai)	We give you nice price bargains! (A thousand times the original price!)
Onedan ijou no kachi wo (Shiire-ne-teki ni ne)	A value greater than its price! (Stocking costs)
Motto nitonitto na "arigatou" wo!	More and more "thanks" to you!
Kaappa kappaa kappa ka...	Ka~ppa kappa kappa ka-...
Tonikaku katte tte itte ne	At any rate! Come and buy stuff!
SAGI☆DETH!	SAGI☆DETH!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Kono tsubo tottemo ii tsuboda	This vase is a very nice vase.
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
DVD wa tsuite konai!	It doesn't come with a DVD!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Kiiroi o saifu arigata ya	Thanks for the yellow wallet!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
O-denwa osoraku kondemasu	More telephone calls will probably be coming in~
Saa saa, minasan, kore mo mite	Come, come, everyone, come and look at this too.
Otsugi ni shoukai shimasu no wa	Next I'll be introducing to you
Nan demo kan demo daitai poipoi to sutereru	Something that almost anything can be discarded into -
Mahou no you na gomibako (Yukari~n!?)	A magic-like trash can! (Yukari!?)
Goran ni natte kono okubukasa	Look at its depth.
Uran o poipoi too... n?	When you discard the uranium like so... hm?
(Shachou: "ku*~awse*drftgyfujiko")	(President: "ku*~awse*drftgyfujiko")
Shachou ga sukima ni!!	The president position is open!!
Yatto hitori ni naremashita (Yeei☆)	Finally, I get to be a president! (Yay☆)
Nagasu namida wa watashi ni mo tomerarenai kara, nya	The flowing tears won't stop even me, nya
Ni hao nyan nyan yeeeeeei!	How are you, nyan, nyan, YAAAAAAAAY!
(Onedan ijou)	(Above all prices)
Kappa no Tani kara anata e	From the Valley of Kappa
NICE na ITEM o-todoke (Shiire wa ***sou)	We deliver to you a nice item! (You got a ******)
Gensoukyo dake ja tarinai (Uchuu seifuku!)	Gensokyo by itself isn't enough! (Space domination!)
Motto tekatteka na egao wo (Meshiuma joutai!)	We need more gleaming smiles! (Gloating state!)
Kappa no Tani kara anata e	From the Valley of Kappa
NICE na PRICE o-kaidoku (Uso desu)	We give you nice price bargains! (That's a lie)
Onedan ijou no kachi wo (Kojin-teki ni ne)	A value greater than its price! (For personal reasons)
Motto nitonitto na "arigatou" wo!	More and more "thanks" to you!
Gyaahaa! Kyou mo takusan botta kutta yo! (Kita no machi wo horobose~)	Gyaha! Lots of stuff got ripped off today! (Destroy the northern village)
Denwa to warai ga tomaranai! (Minami no machi wa umero~)	The phone won't stop ringing and I can't stop laughing! (Bury the southern village)
Yoshi, kondo wa pasokon uritsukete (Higashi no machi wa moyase~)	Alright, time to sell shares on my PC. (Burn down the eastern village)
NET SHOP wo hajime yokka na? (Nishi no machi wa mizuzeme ni~)	I wonder if I should start an online shop? (Cut off the western village's water supply!)
Fukyou no nami wa watashi ni mo ayatsurenai kara-ra	The waves of recession won't control even me
Ran-ran-ruu-ruu yeeeeeei!	Ran ran ru ru YAAAAAAAAY!
(Onedan ijou)	(Above all prices)
Kappa no Tani kara anata e	From the Valley of Kappa
NICE na ITEM o-todoke (Waremono waru yo?)	We deliver to you a nice item! (Is it fragile and broken?)
Gensoukyo dake ja tarinai (Jigen seifuku!)	Gensokyo by itself isn't enough! (Dimension domination!)
Motto tekatteka na egao wo (HEAVEN joutai!)	We need more gleaming smiles! (Heaven state!)
Kappa no Tani kara anata e	From the Valley of Kappa
NICE na PRICE o-kaidoku (Sagi desu)	We give you nice price bargains! (It's a scam)
Onedan ijou no kachi wo (Tairyou! Tairyou!)	A value greater than its price! (Large! Large!)
Motto nitonitto na "arigatou" wo!	More and more "thanks" to you!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Genka hyaku-bai ampan-men!	Anko Bun with noodles at 100 times its original cost!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Hyaku-ri nottara kowareru yo	Once a hundred people are on it, it breaks!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
Okumanchouja da wasshoi-shoi!	I'm a billionaire, hip hip hooray!
Kappa Kappa ya (x3)	Kappa~ Kappa store! (x3)
San kyu kyu	That'll be 399 yen.

Notes

• This song is an arrangement of Akutagawa Ryuunosuke's "Kappa" ~ Candid Friend, Nitori's theme from the third stage of Mountain of Faith.
• There are plenty of references to different Touhou Project games and other Japanese sources in this song, never mind in the video itself:
  • The title is a parody of Japanet Takata, a Japanese TV home shopping channel.
  • The opening skit is based on commercials for Suntory Green Tea. In fact, in the PV, the drink being shown appears to be named after Nitori herself, but turns out to be nitoro (nitric acid) instead.
  • "SAGI☆DETH!" is a poorly Romanized version of "Sagi desu!", which means "It's a scam!"
  • Nitori's "slicer" primarily uses the sword of Youmu Konpaku, who is introduced in Perfect Cherry Blossom. Myon is Youmu's ghost half.
  • "Ran-ran-ruu-ruu" - A reference to a set of Japanese McDonald's commercials. Additionally, "Ran-ran-ruu-ruu" references the characters Ran Yakumo (from Perfect Cherry Blossom) and Rumia (from Embodiment of Scarlet Devil).
  • "Onedan ijou" - Part of a commercial jingle for a Japanese furniture store called Nitori. Another arrangement of Candid Friend, Nitori no Uta, also uses this phrase.
  • "Kaappa kappaa kappa ka..." - The melody is part of a commercial jingle for Kappa Sushi. It's also used later in the song.
  • "Kono tsubo tottemo ii tsuboda" - A quote from M'Quve of the Mobile Gundam Suit series, who has an obsession with vases and other artifacts.
  • A yellow wallet is useful for feng shui - it will attract money.
  • Nitori's "trash can" uses the teleporting gaps of Yukari Yakumo, who is introduced in Perfect Cherry Blossom.
  • "Ni hao nyan nyan" - A reference to a certain Macross Frontier insert song.
  • "Meshiuma" is the Japanese equivalent of schadenfreude.
  • "Heaven joutai" - A reference to a Japanese-only game called Duel Love.
  • "Once a hundred people are on it, it breaks!" - A parody of a commercial for Inaba Seisakusho, a storage company, where one hundred people could sit on top of a storage space with no problems.

Sources

• Most of Romaji and English lyrics are taken from http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/; the rest is translated by berg8793 (Nnd8793).